Chatty Café sessions became a lifeline for Lydia

The Chatty Café Scheme, one of the leading not-for-profit organisations tackling loneliness and helping local people connect, has reached a major milestone, signing up its 1,000th venue in the UK.

And Brackley has been named the town with the highest attendance, with an average of 80 people joining a Chatter & Natter session each week. Among their regular attendees is recently widowed Lydia Martin from Brackley, who first began coming along to keep her local group updated on her husband Brian’s deteriorating health.

When Brian took early retirement from Jaguar Land Rover in 2017, after more than 20 years with the company, Lydia suggested it might be time for him to broaden his interests and social circle beyond his beloved Brackley Town football club.

But their lives changed dramatically in late 2020 when Brian, previously fit and well, was diagnosed with a brain tumour at the age of 64.

Brian was a passionate supporter of his local football team and had even volunteered as a pitch-side photographer for a time. But Lydia, 67, who was working full-time fundraising for a charity, had heard about the Chatty Café Scheme, which was well established in Brackley with three local venues.

She encouraged Brian to give one of its sessions a try. It quickly became one of the highlights of his week. Every week Brian would attend a Chatty Café session and return home “buzzing”, enthusiastically telling Lydia about the people he had met and the conversations they had shared.

“He was so animated when he came home,” said Lydia. “I was so thankful he had this outlet.”

 As his health deteriorated and he became unable to drive, Brian’s enthusiasm for Chatty Café never wavered. Lydia would drop him off at the sessions and return later to pick him up.

Even while undergoing surgery and cancer treatment, Brian continued to make the most of his Chatty Café meet-ups whenever he could.

Brian enjoyed four years in remission until in late 2025 the couple got the devastating news that his cancer had returned more aggressively. Ten days before Christmas last year, Brian was admitted to hospital and, shortly after the New Year, moved into a nursing home for palliative care.

Throughout this difficult period, Lydia remained in touch with Brian’s Chatty Café friends who were all missing him and wanted to know how he was doing. Some members of the group went to visit him and helped keep his spirits up.

Then Lydia found herself becoming part of the group too. “I only went to a session at The Crown to update everyone on Brian’s health,” she said. “But I was hooked immediately and I’ve been back every week since.

“The Chatty Café Scheme had been a lifeline for Brian and now it’s become one for me. It made things a bit easier.”

Brian sadly died in March this year just a few weeks before his 70th birthday, following his five-year battle with cancer.

Members of the Chatty Café group, including volunteer host Jon Haslam, attended his funeral, where the happiness and friendships Brian had found around the Chatty Café table were mentioned in his eulogy.

Lydia, who was married to Brian for 45 years and has two grown-up children and four grandchildren, continues to attend the Tuesday sessions at The Crown Hotel in Brackley and also on Thursday evenings at The Paisley Pear pub.

For her, the group has become much more than a regular coffee and conversation. “The Chatty Café table is a saviour for me,” she said. “It’s a non-judgemental embrace. It really is a hug in a mug. It makes you realise how important companionship is. It circles you in warmth.”

Lydia says she saw a remarkable difference in Brian after every session. “Brian was a very different person after a session with the Chatty Café group. He looked forward to it so much and it became a really important part of his life.

“He was a real joker and cheeky as hell, and he got so much through the friendships he formed across those tables. He was always buying people coffees and having football banter.”

For Lydia, it was only after Brian’s illness and death that she fully understood just how important those friendships would become for her too.

“I didn’t discover the true worth of The Chatty Café Scheme until January. I didn’t realise how much I needed these friendships,” she said. “There are five of us that now do things outside of the Tuesday sessions and it’s so good for our mental and social wellbeing.

“Jon Haslam and his team of volunteers work so hard and arrange other activities which are equally wonderful. We all look out for each other and if we’ve not seen a member we’ll check up on them.”

Lydia hopes their story will encourage other people who may be feeling lonely or isolated to take the difficult first step and walk through the door of a Chatty Café session.

“The experience of being part of The Chatty Café Scheme has affected me profoundly,” she said.

“No one can fail to have a good experience by going to a Chatty Café session. Walking through the door that first time is not easy, but you are always welcomed with open arms, and you just have to sit down and introduce yourself.

“Nobody should have to sit at home on their own and feel isolated. This is far more than a cup of tea or coffee and a chat. It’s a way of life. I believe everyone can benefit from joining a Chatty Café session.”

Jon Haslam, who set up the first Chatty Café session in Brackley four years ago after retiring, now helps run three Chatter & Natter tables in the town, supported by volunteers. Together they welcome around 80 people every week.

“For anyone who has lost a loved one, finds themselves living alone, or is new to the area, the Chatty Café Scheme offers a simple way to connect with others,” Jon said.

“The hardest part is walking through the door for the first time. After that, people realise there’s no pressure, just a cup of tea and a friendly conversation. Week by week, you see confidence grow and friendships form.”

Three local venues in Brackley now host a weekly Chatter & Natter table, The Crown Hotel, Esquires Coffee and the Paisley Pear pub as well as other across Northamptonshire.

To find your nearest Chatter & Natter table, become a venue, volunteer or supporter, visit:
www.thechattycafescheme.co.uk