IF YOU, or your partner, want to end a relationship, be prepared to cope with a lot of practical problems.
- How are you going to end it? If you are married, do you want a formal divorce, or just a separation?
If a divorce, the applicant will need to prove irretrievable breakdown on one of five grounds: adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion,
two y
ears' separation with consent, five years' separation.
Some two thirds of applicants are women, and more than half of them cite unreasonable behaviour. The most popular grounds for men are two years' separation, unreasonable behaviour and then adultery.
- Can you afford a divorce? You may get "legal aid" for some or all of
the costs, if you qualify financially.
But legal aid criteria are strict and family solicitors' waiting lists long. Some couples opt for two years' separation, not just because it minimises mud-slinging and bitterness, but also because it costs less. Mediation may also be an option.
- If you are not married, you don't need to take any legal action to end the relationship, but there may still be matters concerning children, money, housing and benefit entitlements to sort out. And remember that some of your rights and responsibilities may be different
to those of married couples.
- What will happen to the children? Who should they live with? What contact should the other parent have? Who pays for their upbringing? If you are not married, do both parents have "parental responsibility"? Where do grandparents fit in? It's too often a nightmare. Family mediation services can help.
- What about money, housing and maintenance? Very broadly, if you are married, each partner has claims on the "marital home" and other assets, regardless of their legal ownership; each also has a duty to maintain their ex-partner as well as their children.
Unmarried partners also have a duty to maintain their children, but not to support their ex-partner; claims on assets can be really complicated.Don't despair. Information and advice is available from several places.
Banbury Citizens Advice Bureau, 26 Cornhill, Banbury: drop-in service. Advice line: 0844-848-7922.
Home visiting service: 07802-535582. Hours: 10am-4pm, Mon-Fri,except Tuesday (10am-1pm).
Relate, 17 Castle Street, Banbury: 01295-258-141.
Oxfordshire Family Mediation, 125 London Road, Headington, Oxford: 01865-741-781. Helps you and your partner sort out future
arrangements, e.g. money and kids; can reduce legal costs.
Family Law Association: 01689-820- 272. www.resolution.org.uk
< http://www.resolution.org.uk>. Has 5,000 members nationwide
